Manners maketh the man, or so the old saying goes. We live in very casual times these days and so it is easy to let standards drop and get sloppy in our attitudes towards each other but to stand out in the crowd and impress those around you, there’s nothing like a bit of good behaviour to show that you really do respect your fellow man. Sometimes seen as a set of silly rules, manners are in fact very egalitarian – after all, you just have to learn a few simple ‘dos and don’ts’ and you can confidently sit down and have lunch with the queen (in the rather unlikely event of you being asked), wow a potential girlfriend or boyfriend or hold your own in a stressful business meeting.
Here are some of the ones we think are the most important:
- Time keeping. Keeping people waiting is always rude and being unfashionable late is very unfashionable (even if you are Naomi Campbell). But too early runs the risk of catching your host off guard so try and be within a few minutes of your appointment. Being prompt is always respectful and it doesn’t do you any harm to appear efficient.
- Table manners. Don’t get too hung up on which knife and fork to use (though it’s easy really – just work from outside in) But do observe the obvious ones like not leaning on the table with your elbows, not starting before everyone has their food and being nice to the waiter. Not burping is good too. If you want to go second level then remember to always tip the soup bowl away from you, spoon it in a near-to-far direction and drink off the side of the spoon, not put the whole thing in your mouth. People might mistake you for royalty…
- Holding the door open for other people. People get nervous of this one – especially in a post-feminist era. But the simple rule is, hold the door open for ANYONE who happens to be right behind you, or if you arrive at the same time, let the other person go in first (though rushing for the January sales might give you a cop out on the latter). The same general rule applies to standing up to shake someone’s hand – you do it whether it’s a man OR a woman.
- Mobile phone usage. Naturally this is a modern case and not something that ever worried Jane Austen but it’s not rocket science. Use your common sense. YOU would find it annoying if your dinner date was on their phone the whole time during the meal so don’t do it to them! Best of all, keep your phone in your pocket or bag and resist the urge to Instagram your food or get to the next level of Candy Crush. It can all wait and you will gain much more respect if you are listening attentively to your fellow diners than watching your phone with one eye.
- Please and thank you. Maybe this is the most simple and basic rule but it’s one that is usually drilled into us as kids. Saying please and especially thank you is a must. Ok, there are cultural differences – Danes don’t really have a word for please and the British have turned saying thank you into an art-form (quite often meaning exactly the opposite in reality), but the intention should always be clear. And when travelling, learn those two words on the plane before you land – they can make a huge difference.
Thank you for reading…. 😉
