I clearly remember turning to a colleague at the end of a show during Copenhagen Fashion Week in the summer of 2021 and commenting ‘great presentation, lovely clothes but I’m so over the ironic footwear’. That was at the end of three days of beautiful outfits on interesting models but styled with a selection of Crocs, plastic slides and clumpy sandals. It felt all a bit knowing and trying too hard – as if there had to be an element of raised eyebrow to make people look twice. Little did we know that was the start of a positive horror story of ugly footwear.
To be honest, it wasn’t really the beginning. The mid-1970s saw their fair share of hideous glam rock platform shoes and Prada had a mid-90s phase of heavy-heeled granny shoes (actually based on a pair worn by Princess Margaret apparently) but ever since lockdown, things have got a whole lot worse.
Maybe it was two years of getting used to comfy shoes at home or two years of Zoom meetings where you could be as scruffy as hell from below the waist but ever since then, ugly shoes have come out of the confines of home and onto the runway. Crocs – the biggest serial offenders – were one of the first to emerge having previously been confined to little kids and gardening pensioners. Suddenly they were everywhere in lurid colours and – shudder – even with Harajuku-style ornamentation. Things got even more upscale with Balenciaga’s king of irony Demna jumping on the bandwagon (though jumping in this footwear is not an easy task) with supersized sneakers and shoes that look like gorilla’s feet. Peak ugliness was probably achieved with MSCHF’s enormous ‘Smurf’ boots but it’s hard to pick the worst, to be honest.
Now things have morphed into horrid hybrids – Frankenstein monsters that are half sneaker half clog or even half loafer (hang your head in shame New Balance, ‘snoafers’ are NOT a good idea).
Please don’t get us wrong. We love the avant-garde and celebrate designers pushing the envelope. Good taste is often a terribly stifling concept and it is great to be challenged (sandals with socks are a perennial favourite of ours) but there is something cynical about this phenomenon. It started with a ‘we get this but we know you don’t’ attitude which can be elitist and snobbish. And then companies realised ugly shoes get attention. Outrage raises awareness and in turn, pushes sales. It’s not really about design, it’s about click-bate and seeing brands trying to outdo each other with increasingly ridiculous pieces screams desperation rather than creativity. Of course, it will end (hopefully soon) as Tiktok likes move onto something new but in the meantime, do yourself a favour: unless your name is Mickey Mouse, leave those enormous moulded horrors in the shoe cupboard.
